P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
