why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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