so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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