She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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