no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
50% drunk capacity currently
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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