turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
