was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
