You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
