do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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