so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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