so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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