I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
