I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
