I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
