I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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