That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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