HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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