My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
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He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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