my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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