Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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