Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
