So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
