Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
