umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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