i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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