One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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