drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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