Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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