I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
