the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
a search helicopter?!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
