I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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