return my video game
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize