sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
