He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
