I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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