I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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