And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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