There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ttyl tear gas
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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