ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
