Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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