she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Drunk is a universal language darling
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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