I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
