i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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