It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize