kristin has been a bad kristin
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
