Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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