I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
