Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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