i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
