so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?