Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list