In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.