On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.