I want to walk on stilts...naked
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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