He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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