I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
