So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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