so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
