weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
