I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
