I just made out with a guy for $7.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize