JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
