I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
