OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize