where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
