So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
its liver damage thursday
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
